Journal 2018


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PSYCHIC BARRIER: I am literally a different person from the person who wrote these entries, as almost every cell in my body has replaced itself since then.

2018-07-05 #

There is a virulent strain of nihilism spreading in the wild that postulates that life outcomes are largely predetermined, and little to no action can be taken to improve it. It may come in various forms, such as fatalism, race realism, lookism, incel culture, the black pill, all of which are detestable in mainstream discourse. These are antithetical to societal values in which actions and morality determine positive outcomes, which does not take much effort to dismantle. The detractors have something in common: opposition to nihilism in all its forms is based on depriving one's will, to manipulate and extract as much value as possible.

People at every level of the social strata desire like and respect, all the way down to the lowest levels. These people should be treated with great caution, due to their deceitful nature. They are more vested in pretty lies than reality, and interested in conformity at any cost due to the perceived benefits. This behavior is exhibited by gang members who demand respect in exchange for not assaulting you, and likewise in academic con men intellectuals who manufacture acceptable opinions to have, in exchange for an expensive piece of paper.

The policing of thoughts and imposing self-censorship can be seen as an attack on one's own sovereignty. People are generally malleable, subservient, and have an urge to fit in, much more than they are wiling to admit. Macho posturing serves to delude oneself otherwise. In previous eras, there may have been evolutionary advantages to belonging to the tribe, but this is increasingly irrelevant in contemporary, atomized society. Virtue signalling, obsession with image, parroting fashionable memes, are desperate attempts to cling on to this vestigial behavior.

Global fertility rates have been on an irreversible decline, which correlates with the expansion of the definition of a loser. When society disenfranchises a large group of losers, they no longer feel obligated to play by its rules. Humanity has no viable future at this rate, not even religious fundamentalism can overcome modernity. No amount of moral posturing will materialize traditional wives and mothers out of thin air.

The future is antihuman. Capital transmutes human connections into transactions, people continue to exist only as machines to be used. Love works as nature intended: a process by which inferior specimens are culled. Technology accelerates the process of social decay, there can only be hope after the wholesale destruction of social mores. Technical solutions would be sufficient: asexual, immortal beings as envisioned by Houellebecq in The Elementary Particles, artificial wombs, sex robots, cybernetic bodies without organs.

...skin is coming away in ragged scraps, exposing something beyond masculinity, beyond humanity, beyond life. Patches of mottled technoderm woven with electronics are emerging. Daddy and mummy means nothing anymore. You scrape away your face and step into the dark... — Nick Land, Meat (or How to Kill Oedipus in Cyberspace)

2018-06-02 #

History has shown that every time, young low-status males are overwhelmingly responsible for revolution, and that their grievances are justified. Society must provide value to its lowest members, in order for it to remain functional. The recent Parkland shooting, Toronto van attack, and Santa Fe shooting, demonstrate what happens when this ultimatum is violated. When a society provides marginal to negative value in return to its lowest constituents, reciprocal behavior can be expected.

The question should not be why do these “senseless” killings happen, but rather why they do not happen with more frequency. The proliferation of high-quality pornography and displacement activities such as video games have placated the masses of young, low-status males, for whom access to sex and relationships are more restricted now than ever, and meaningful work is out of reach. There would be a spree killing every day if not for this contemporary bread and circuses to appease them. Therefore, it is no small miracle that the vast majority of low-status males do not and likely will never seek retribution for their position in life. However, it is sensational when someone finally snaps and decides to pump lead into people at the wrong place at the wrong time.

The 2014 Isla Vista killings was a watershed moment in my life. It was among the first killings which made it clear beyond a doubt that sexual access was the primary motive. Mainstream narratives may blame his mental health or gun rights as the cause, but it is evident that the perpetrator acted in a rational manner and access to firearms was not even a relevant factor for some of the casualties.

Elliot Rodger was definitively, a sexual loser. The mating game is a zero-sum game, with winners and losers on each side. For every winner, there is a loser, but it is worse than that. For every winner, there are many more losers, since the top males monopolize females, leaving only leftovers for the majority of males. Hence, Elliot Rodger plays the role of the everyman, and the antihero to this cultural narrative. In Amerikwa, with it's violent and warfaring past, killing is just a cultural pastime, a bloodsport. There is no coincidence that spree killings are concentrated in this land, which itself was seized forcibly from its native inhabitants. Violence is in the cultural DNA. That is how the game is played here: predator, or prey. It's also no coincidence that Elliot's father was a director on the Hunger Games film, which depicts young people slaughtering each other.

What has largely been ignored or considered just a footnote, is his biracial ethnicity. Elliot displays self-loathing for his Malaysian Chinese half, as evidenced by his revulsion to seeing an Asian male merely talking to a white female. This contradicted his perceived sexual dominance hierarchy, with Asians being at the very bottom for males, and whites at the very top for both males and females. This was not only in Elliot's head, but subconsciously imprinted by western cultures. He had internalized self-racism, which is all too common among Asians, male and female alike. Yet another reason why spree killings do not happen with more frequency, is many eager, self-hating Asian females willing to sexually satisfy loser white males. And yet, Elliot Rodger was unable to capitalize on his (half) white male privilege, which led him to seek revenge.

I would put forth some (un)popular sentiment that prostitution should be legalized or that girlfriends should be assigned to low-status males somehow, but these are merely band-aids applied to a bullet wound, pun intended. A long-term solution would involve making life better for the majority of males, but the contemporary Amerikwa has decided to continually degrade them while attempting to extract more value out of them. It should be apparent that such an arrangement is not sustainable over any considerable period of time. I do not condone Elliot Rodger's actions. However, I understand.