Journal 2010

2010-04-01 #

Spontaneous adventures into the unknown reaffirm that I will die alone. I used to shudder in fear as thought about it before, but now it brings me tranquility. Walking down the beach alone endlessly into the fog with nothing but my clothes and keys, I cannot help thinking that this is what death is like.

It was a death of sorts, an ego death. All of my thoughts and emotions never existed outside of myself, they are all projections. My thoughts flowed from the external to the internal, reversing my formerly solipsistic, humanistic way of thinking. I wandered out into the fog fearlessly, striving to go wherever the fog ended.

2010-02-07 #

We in the first world throw away plastic wrappers, paper, old electronics, and other materials routinely. We are inclined to throw away waste and eager to seek replacement to satisfy our desire to consume. Throw-away culture has seeped into every aspect of society in detrimental ways, including our interpersonal relations. No longer do we have to tolerate other people when we can easily replace them or isolate ourselves from reality.

No longer do we have to put up with people we can't stand when we can shut ourselves off. People these days are escape artists, and cell phones, media players, and the Internet are our escape methods. Why interact with the people around you when you can shut yourself off? What we don't realize is that we're missing out on learning how to interact with people we can't stand, and this takes a great toll on interpersonal relations.

Real human interaction carries intrinsic value. No matter how many friends you have online, it is no substitute for reality. The written word only accounts for a fraction of human communication. Tone and nonverbal communication is lost, and to fill that gap, we project our own interpretation on to what the other person is really saying. Projection is dangerous because it is by nature an unconscious process, and without tonal and nonverbal cues, actual meaning is lost.

Our inability to deal with the risk that close relationships entail is essentially the hedgehog conundrum as described by Schopenhauer. We crave human intimacy but we are more cautious of others and in turn, we are more miserable because of it. When interpersonal conflict arises, fear consumes us and we quickly seek out others to fulfill our human need for close relationships. Disposability is evidently manifested in the sexual marketplace. Too many lifetime partners dulls our sense of commitment and emotional investment. When one partner disappoints us in any way, we are quick to jump to the next in serial fashion, and no meaning is lost.

What we have are increasing isolationism and less substantial human interaction, leading us to be overall more miserable than in the past. The values associated with close relationships have been supplanted by escapism and disposability.

2010-01-10 #

A respectable job, a home, and a family, was once attainable by a man by the time he reached his early twenties. The same man today likely has none of those, as a casualty of a long societal decline. The collapse of this Ponzi scheme known as society is inevitable.

History tended towards Malthusian societies, with limited resources. There were higher values that used to be culturally instilled, such as character and integrity. A man could afford not only to support himself but also a family by simply by having a work ethic, and marry young without the risks that come with marrying later. There was an implied social contract which was more or less kept, and more equitable without the politicized power struggle between both sexes.

The disintegration of the family unit is the key of this social breakdown. Promiscuity is the new standard, and it creates a new market which was previously suppressed: the sexual marketplace. This marketplace is more inequitable than the most dysfunctional third world countries. The old law and order does not apply in this marketplace, as institutions such as community and marriage are obsolete. Communities kept people together and ostracized anti-social behavior to maintain cohesion. Individuals without these communal bonds come apart, and the legal industry thrives on conflict. The sexual act itself is a poor simulacrum of the peak social experience.

The industrial society thrives upon depletion of resources. As the literal underworld is exhaustively mined out, so are individuals exhausted of love, or no love at all. The transiently populated cities of today appear in terms of proximity in dating profiles, where talented people go to meet but never settle, a dead end for human capital.

The systemic collapse shows in the negligence of technological infrastructure as the first world descends into the third world. Electrical grids, irrigation systems, high technology, the niceties of technological civilization will struggle to remain operational. The breakdown will advance into the later stages of the devaluation of currency, dissolution of government, and small-scale conflicts. In the post-civil world, atomized individuals will be most vulnerable, and there will be plenty of them.